Thursday, April 18, 2013

Things I have realized about myself on this overcast April morning

1. My life has now become full circle as I am back to checking a tamagotchi every five seconds.

2. I feel extremely pressured to tweet and use instagram because everyone else does it, but I don't know how to create an instagram and I feel like an asshole using a hashtag. Like I try to make myself do it and #Ijustwanttostartcrying. I just want to be like Miley who could just tweet something like "Dribble dick" and get 23840u3502 comments.

3. Everything I do has to be in fives. If I'm eating something like oreos I need to eat five even if I don't want five. I pick five favorites of everything. I have to have five cigarettes a day and I have to do five things when I'm in the shower.I was thinking about it earlier and I think the reason why I love five is because there were five Spice Girls and therefore I always saw it as the perfect, defining number. 
4. I crave Starbucks everyday but I realized it's because of the green straw. Seeing someone with those damn cups and their green straws make me want iced carmel macchiatos Something about the color. I never want Dunkin Donuts because purple and orange do nothing for me.

5. I think the reason why Lisa treats me the way she does is because I remind her of her mother. It suddenly makes sense why she only whines to me, asks me for things, and turns to me for every problem. She was stressed out one day and told me that she was texting me and her mom about it all day. (I always ignore her texts). I can't think of much her mom and I have in common other than the fact that we both love the Golden Girls and hate Rachel Ray and we have the same suitcase. 

Saturday, April 13, 2013

areola borealis

I've been staying up to see if I could see the Northern Lights. I guess I'm SOA cause they are appearing too far north. Whoops I mean that to say SOL. I am not Sons of Anarchy. GOD DAMN I even created a Twitter account just to track sightings in NY.
But I was reading up on this and apparently the northern lights have been visible almost every year since I was born in MN, and there are in fact pictures taken in Marine on St Croix to prove it. SO WHERE THE HELL WAS I AND HOW COME NO ONE EVER SAID? Maybe I should go back this fall, they are supposedly in October or something but I think one year it in July. It's on my bucket list you know. 

That is fucking Minnesota. What the fuck. I must have really had my head up my ass for 20 years. 
Well I still probably do, since tonight instead of actually going up on my amazing rooftop and looking at the sky, I was laying down with my laptop on my tummy refreshing Twitter. lolololololololololkillmenow.
I only know whats going on outside by looking at the internet.
Oh by the way. Did you hear about that giant meteor that hit Russia like a couple of months ago? I didn't until now. What the hell.